Tuesday, November 10, 2009

3 AM Panic

(Edited 2 pm the same day for content. I posted this while Paul was at work, and I did not have his permission. He has not asked me to erase it now, but he is visibly hurt by my mentioning finances. Please forgive me friends for mentioning things that ought not to have been shared.)

Paul left for work at 3... and I am still awake.

I just remembered that our phone and DSL will be turned off today, because we could not pay our bill on time. This will be our first ever phone disconnection... truly humiliating, but unavoidable.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand. I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed. Psalms 37:23-26 (KJV)
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 2 Cor 4:7-9 (KJV)


Bethany said...

It's almost 8:40 AM, and the phone and DSL are still on. I wander when they disconnect? 9 AM? 5 PM? Who knows. I think my best bet is to try to stay busy and forget about it.

Maybe I will be able to sneak in another post later... maybe not.


Anonymous said...

Bethany, it may not have been your intent, but I was really humbled by this post. While I've been going on about how we spend more than we have to so we can eat healthy food, you all are barely making it. You definitely gave me some perspective this morning, and we will definitely be lifting your family up in prayer.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there- Bethany. We'll be praying for you, Paul and your lovely children.

Bethany said...

I am not, and have never been, upset by your posts. We are all at different places in life. I like hearing how you and Randy are learning, and how you are being good stewards of what you have been given.

To all,
I do not want to make it seem like my husband is not a provider. He would gladly work 80+ hours/week to make ends meet. BUT, I cannot handle those kind of hours. Also, he is still praying for wisdom regarding whether or not to work during UPS's peak season as a "driver's helper." That is a temporary job, but it would pay better than anything else.
Also, we have a baby due in 5 weeks, and Paul does not want to leave me alone all day every day. It is not because of him - it is because of me.
Please forgive me if I have ever made it seem like Paul does not take care of our family. I am amazed by the hours he spends working (like on the farm) for no pay. He is most eager to help anyone in need with his time... it does not always pay in a way we can see, but we trust God to meet our needs according to His riches in Glory! And, we also wait upon Him for a job for Paul that would work better with my needs (meaning, I just can't handle a day beginning at 2 am, ending at 10pm, and never seeing my husband).


Bethany said...

Paul called the phone company to see when they would disconnect. Because of the holiday, the disconnect will be "first thing" Thursday morning. So, it looks like I will have phone and internet through Wednesday.


Mama Hen said...

Bethany, I was driving quite a bit today and I prayed for you a lot. I prayed that God will provide for your family in a way that all glory will be given to Him. You are on my mind so much and I can only take that as a prompting from the Holy Spirit to pray for you. You encourage me more than you will probably ever know.