Forty-two and thriving

I am learning more clearly year by year that my health is like a three-legged stool. My mental health,

spiritual health and physical health are all so very intertwined. I am at a place in life where I am investing

in all three areas of my health and I am seeing the balance of my life level out. I know I have a long way

to go, but I have learned to be more aware of some of my health and sickness trends.

For example, when my physical health falters my spiritual side may grow, but it’s still not a stool that

seems solid enough to put weight upon. And, if my emotional health takes a side-step this will invariably

cause my physical health to be negatively impacted. 

So, with all of this effort to stay balanced, what does it actually look like? How can I say I am the

healthiest I have been in years?

In 2020, I started therapy with a licensed clinical professional counselor. I think that year brought a lot

of us to a breaking point that needed outside resources to begin the mending process. Those first six

to nine months of counseling were emotionally exhausting. And, though I felt emotionally drained and

physically exhausted, I walked about a mile every day. That time alone to walk and process all that I was

learning was crucial to both physical and mental health. I also knew that with all of the battles raging in

my soul bringing torrents of rain and waves of emotional turbulence that I needed a strong anchor.

The anchor of my soul is the Lord. I generally read my Bible every day and I pray all throughout the day. Allowing the words of Scripture to grow me, challenge me, encourage me, and strengthen me has been my ballast through many storms. Jesus has been my firm foundation even when my ship has been rocked. He truly is my anchor. (see Hebrews 6:18-19)

Yet, I continue to make mistakes. At times, I still let my gaze focus on the storm and I get tossed about in waves of self-doubt. I still lack patience. I still have to work to be gentle in my responses to my family. I still fight to be less reactionary to drama and conflict. I still have to work to use "my inside voice" when I am angry. But, I see greater growth than I could have ever thought possible! 

It seems that, for me, the right elements to health are: Bible reading, prayer, gathering with the church, high quality health supplements, walking, manual labor like yard work, soccer in the yard with my kids, talk therapy with my counselor, plenty of time with my believing friends, as much music as I can fit into my day, and time to be creative. I generously mix these ingredients to serve up my best self.

Does this mean I radiate with joy and sunshine every moment of every day? Not likely. But, I can say

that I am working hard to have constructive conversations in which I allow myself to express both

good “feels” and hard thoughts. I am trying hard to own what is mine to correct, but not own what is not

mine. (To explain just what that means would require a whole ‘nother post.) 

I have no desire to even attempt to look like I “have it all together,” because that is an image that I could not possibly live up to for more than a few minutes. I just want to be honest with myself in admitting both the triumphs and the struggles. I wish I could have learned that lesson sooner in my life, it would have saved me so many years of aiming at unreachable perfection.

I will be 43 in September and I think I am the healthiest that I have ever been. How can I encourage you in your health journey?

August Updates

What a month it has been since I last wrote a post.

Moving update - I mentioned that we will be moving again. Even though we are only moving about 15-20 minutes away, it feels the same as when I was 27 and we made a cross-country move. Being almost 40 and pregnant has a way of adding strain to your body! We are part of a church with some amazing people who will come out on moving day and lend their help to loading, unloading, and cleaning. But still, these final days before the move are like crossing the “wall” in a marathon. I felt DONE weeks ago, but we have to keep pressing on.

Baby update -I mentioned in my last post that I am pregnant with Baby Boy Model 2018. Only 10 weeks to go! I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes two weeks ago. As a result, I have drastically changed my diet. We were hoping that diet alone would be enough to keep my blood glucose down, but nope. I started an anti-diabetic medicine last night. I will still keep to the diet recommended by my naturopath – no grains, no refined sugars, no potatoes, light on the sugary fruits. Going without my one soda a day and/or one coffee with sugar a day has been an adjustment. Some days I feel better and see a big difference in my health. Other days, I want to throw in the towel and believe that I would be better off with my Mt Dew and breads.

So far I have tried NOT to think about labor and delivery. This has been an adequate way of avoiding the fear of labor. But, after the move, I need to get serious about planning my birth experience (humanly speaking, of course).

School decisions – In my last post, I spoke of a decision to put some of our kiddos into public school. In the past month, there were changes (more re-routing) of that plan, but my three youngest children begin public school in two days. I'm an emotional wreck over it. But, I know that I cannot teach them this year.

Several people have suggested that I keep them at home and take half a year off for my health. I get that... but, the thing is, I do that about every year. And the boys education may be suffering. I did NOT say it is suffering, just that it may be. In past years we offered experiences and education to the kids that they couldn't have gotten in public school. Being able to go on “field trips” weekly rather than twice a year is great. Gathering with a co-op with a variety of ages melded together was very positive. Being able to travel to see my parents every other week was wonderful. Having a flexible schedule to work around Daddy's crazy schedule was amazing. But, still, I have to wonder if a year (or more?) in public school might add another element to their education that our home schooling cannot provide. Time will tell.

I took Joshua, my 6^th grader, to his first ever open building last night. The halls were full of tiny sixth graders learning to use lockers for the first time, finding their classes, and getting reacquainted with some old friends. Josh did great with his combination lock, and seemed confident about finding his classes on the first day. God fortified me and I did not cry during the whole experience. I kept a running prayer in my mind as we walked the halls and explored a new school. It is a scary time, but I have to trust that we are making the best decision for the kids with the information that is available to us now.

Josiah (3^rd grade) and Jeremiah (1^st grade) have their open house and meet their teachers tomorrow. It's certainly a new era for our family. But, I am trusting God to carry us through.

My oldest, Rebecca, is now in 11^th grade. She was hoping to enter public school but we were unable to reach a compromise with the school district about how to count her previous school credits. The school accepted NONE of them, insisting that they could only accept “accredited” curriculum credits. In the end, Rebecca decided to home school again. She will be working under the care of a veteran homeschool mom close to home. Rebecca will drive there several times a week to be instructed with their younger kids. She will be participating in our homeschool co-op again and she will begin the Tapestry of Grace curriculum that is offered through the co-op. (We have loved our Notgrass curriculum, I highly recommend it! But, it is easier to switch her to the same program being used by the family who is teaching her this year.)

The other two big kids, Nelson (9^th grade) and Lydia (8^th grade) are happy to continue learning at home under our roof. I will be as hands-on as I can be or need to be until the baby is born. Then, Daddy will be home on a family medical leave and he can take over. Thanks, Paul!

I can't think of anything else to report right now. As your family starts another year of school, or goes about whatever work is set before you – I pray blessings for you as I write. My heart's desire is to see Christian families THRIVE. May the joy of the Lord be your strength! God bless.

Taking on the yoke of Christ and removing my heavy load

I have so many heavy, heavy burdens on my heart today. I feel strongly that I need to share some of the thoughts I am processing.

For the past several years Paul and I have (unfortunately) gone from one extreme to the other in many areas of our theology. This happens to most of us from time to time. I acknowledge that we have been double-minded and that we are always seeking to find more middle ground. More balance. Paul and I have a heart for being authentic even when it hurts. We want to lay ourselves before others so that we might save them from making some of our mistakes. Or, if you have already made the same mistakes, we want to pull you out of the mire. BUT, one of the problems with this earnest sharing is... you, my dear followers. My heart aches for those of you who have followed us in to legalism.

What do I mean by legalism? Heaping burdens upon mens' backs that God has not required. I have written so much through the years that I later removed, for fear that it might lead someone away from God Himself and into a set of rules.

You see, I am a person who needs to feel gratification. I am performance driven. I am performance oriented. Grade me. Evaluate me. Give me a stiff set of rules to keep. But, whatever you do, don't be vague and "grey."

Christianity has many black and white areas. There are other areas that are more grey. And, instead of learning charity (with myself), I thought that I needed to know everything. Right now.

Over the past five years we have run straight into the camp of others who were heaping loads upon mens' backs that Jesus does not require.

I need to clarify - I am not calling anyone of you a legalist. I do not know your heart. I only know mine... and that only in part. Sometimes my own heart deceives me. Paul and I thought at every turn that our pursuit for holiness was pleasing the Lord. And, the part of me that yells "Grade me!" felt gratified. I felt like I could check off every possible item on the list of holiness that God was setting on my desk.

But, there was something missing on that list. Faith. We were missing the faith that believed that God's work was sufficient for our salvation. Jesus' blood was all we needed. Jesus makes us holy. We need to try to live in a way that pleases the Lord and honors Him - of course! Grace is never an excuse for sin! But, we do not have to have all the answers in one day, one year, or one decade. Growth takes a lifetime.

So, why am I dredging all of this up again? Now? Well, new patches of dead, barren ground (my heart) keep being exposed when rocks are flipped over. Forgive my metaphor. Other issues keep coming up and exposing the areas where I am still struggling.

But, where did this all begin? What are the roots of my own legalistic journey? That's easy. In 2006, Paul stumbled upon a forum on the internet that disputed all kinds of issues. This forum was not open to public comments. I think (unfortunately) that Paul and I thought we were special that we could get "in." That forum did not encourage us to love and good works. At all. It encouraged us to wrangle with each other with words. It propelled us into searching out ideas that are not on the radar of the "average" Christian. It did not fan a flame to share the Gospel with the lost. It made us feel stupid and unintelligent that we were not as learned as these other men and women.
In all honesty, there are some good posts on that forum. Some. I did not dwell on those. I was caught up in every little topic that would make me feel like I could measure and evaluate my growth and feel gratified. I was focused on the posts that made me feel like I had "arrived."
In case you know of what forum I am speaking, even though I intentionally left off the name: We know the owner of the forum. We went to his church in real life. Paul worked for him in real life. We moved across the nation to be with this man in real life. He loves the Lord. This is not an attack on that forum owner's character. We love him. We pray for him. I know that the intent of his heart is not to lead people into legalism. His heart is to teach. His heart is to see others sharpen one another. But, the forum can start people down an ugly path, if they - like me - are performance driven.

Also in 2006, we were introduced to the writings of certain prominent conservative Christian authors (I erased their names, because I am not meaning to "attack" any one person, couple, church, etc.) I read as many of these books as I could as quickly as I could. This marks a turning point in my life. I do not have the books now to re-read them and see if they are "legalistic," or if it was just the way I read and received them. Do you see the difference? I am not saying that these authors are "bad." Because I just can't be sure.
BUT, when I read their books I got wrapped up in being the perfect wife and mother. I wanted to be the perfect Christian. I wanted to be the perfect pastor's wife. Load upon load upon load piling up on my back.

Another thought - and I truly do not mean to offend, but this is what I see - Legalism will not work if you live away from others that share your belief system. Legalism only works in a group setting. (Of course, I admit, all belief systems work best in a group setting!)

But for me, personally, I was feeling pressured to keep my children in the worship service and be family integrated when no one else was practicing this idea. No one understood me. Paul was preaching. I had three children under the age of four, then four children under the age of five. I was alone. And exhausted.
Homeschooling - same situation.
Having as many children as the Lord gave us - same situation.
Modest dress - same situation.
What I saw as healthy lifestyle changes - same situation.
We were alone and without aid.
(Again, I am NOT saying that all of these ideas are "legalistic." Paul and I still practice many of these ideals, but NOT because we think it will save us, or give us more brownie points on a cosmic scale. God is not grading me. My report card is covered by the blood of Jesus. My mistakes. My insufficiencies. Covered by the blood of Jesus.)

So, here I was reading these books that made me enter into years of bondage of placing myself under UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS and without the aid of anyone "like-minded." I fell apart. I was depressed. I was miserable. I wanted to die. I hated life. I hated my family. Yet, all the while I thought that these intellectuals in the books I read and the forum I was on, were the ones who had it all figured out. They were trying to help me have a more holy life.

Friends - do not let someone else pressure you in to how to live. Not me. Not Facebook. No one. The Holy Spirit will teach you through the Word of God how you should act. Other books might help make sense of the meaning of texts of the Bible. Then again, maybe they won't.

I am NOT angry as I type this. I am NOT bitter. I am sad. I am earnestly trying to save others from losing God in the midst of chasing rabbits. I am trying to lower the bar of what you think God expects, so that you don't kill yourself (and the little ones running behind you) as you jump impossible hurdles and fling yourself (with little ones behind you) through imaginary hoops. I am trying to prevent other legalistic families from suffering, falling apart, or experiencing the tragedy of divorce, abandonment, death, murder, or suicide. (The Lord brought me out before I hurt anyone else or my own self. Others are not so fortunate. My heart aches for the families with mommies or daddies who "snapped" under pressure and made a life-changing mistake. Oh, my dears. If my vulnerability can prevent any such incident, I would gladly bear my whole heart. If you are weary to the point of leaving your family or killing yourself - get help, dear one. You are precious to me and precious to the Father. If you have no one else to talk to, you may email me. flutefelicity@aol.com God loves you, Friend! He has plans for your future! What Satan means for evil, God means for good! You have friends. I am your friend. You can trust me with your pain. I understand. I write this post from my own former agony. There is hope, Friend. Grab hold of it and hang on for dear life!)

Ladies, I am not trying to add to confusion. I do not want to be another voice adding to the chaos around you. I want to be one who comes along and begins to unstrap the unnecessary burdens off your back. I am not saying "drop everything," because that too would be folly.

Mothers, God does require us to try our best to raise God-honoring, God-fearing children. But, it is not all black and white. God does require women to be modest, but it is not all black and white. God does say to be holy, and live in a manner worthy of our calling. Some areas are clearer than others.

Let's give each other grace. We may read different Bible translations. We may dress differently. We may go to different types of worship gatherings. We may choose to educate our children differently. We are all on a journey and NONE of us is perfect. But, if we are believers, we ARE all holy. Jesus Himself has become our holiness. He took our sin. We took His righteousness. Let's be careful of what we try to talk others into doing (or not doing!) in the name of the Lord. Teach in love. Teach with mercy. Teach and lead by example. And, mothers, be ever attentive to the fact that there are little ones chasing after you. Do you want them to do what you are doing? Or, knowing that children often take what we do (or don't do) and blow it WAY out of proportion, do you want them taking your behavior and blowing it up?

Let's be loving, our kids can mimic that. Let's show mercy, we want our kids to catch that. Let's show moderation, forgiveness, understanding, patience, etc.

Pray and ask the Lord to show you if you have un-intentionally heaped burdens on your back (and your childrens'). You can unload them now at the feet of Jesus... and then try not to pick more up along the way... and so on. God will give you wisdom when you ask for it. God wants to heal your heart. He wants you to learn to see yourself as He sees you - through the blood of Jesus. He wants you to keep moving forward and press on to the goal. He wants you to be Christ-like. He wants you to be conformed to Christ. Ask the Lord to show you what He wants from you. Your best answers will be found on the pages of Scripture. Not on a blog. Not in a book. Those may help, but only if they point back to the Lord.

Pray hard and press on.

Why I don't blog as often as I mean to... and a health update too

I may have mentioned that Paul bought me a smartphone in February, because we decided that the internet service would cost less than my trips to the library to play on work on the internet. It is a mixed blessing to have internet access in my home again.

I felt led by the Lord to reactivate my facebook account. I wanted to be able to encourage my friends throughout the week. Unfortunately, FB can be extremely addictive... I am working hard on moderation. But, to be honest, it is good to have another connection to the outside world.
So, FB gets my attention and the blog takes the back seat.

Also, I am working diligently on writing a fiction novel (part of a series, actually). Back in January I was working on non-fiction. That work requires a great amount of in-depth Bible study time. But, just within the last ten days or so, the urge came upon me to start working on this fiction novel. All I can say is that God is guiding me to write it. I am thoroughly enjoying myself and I covet my time alone to write. In fact, I am so jealous for my writing time that the blog seems very uninteresting at present. The novel is coming along very well. God amazes me.

The thing is... I was born to write. God made me to write. It is a consuming passion... I must write. BUT, for years and years I have been too "sick" with hypothyroid issues (and/or disability) to even consider writing anything more than my blog. A novel or non-fiction book would have taken too much staying power. (I know, because I tried.) In January, I stopped taking my Synthroid medication and switched to Nature-Throid. I'll be honest, at first the switch was HORRIBLE!!! I gained at least 15 pounds in two months. I slept 16-18 hours a day. I could not hardly walk across the room. Each time I raised my medication, I had terrible palpitations that were extremely frightening. There was one occasion when I almost went to ER. Each time I increased my dosage I felt worse, and worse, and worse. I was beside myself with frustration!
I truly believed that Nature-Throid would be a great help to me, so I pressed on. I was working with two doctors and each doctor had a different view of how to "fix" me. Finally, I decided that my naturopath knew more about me (as a whole) than the doctor who actually prescribed the new meds. At this same time I was also reading every book I could about hypothyroid disease and hormone replacement therapy. I was fully convinced that I had many issues going on at the same time.
My naturopath re-checked my thyroid levels and discovered that I was taking WAY too much medicine AND that I had adrenal fatigue. These medication changes led to more fatigue and frustration. Less thyroid meds, more adrenal support and female hormone support. FINALLY we have gotten to a place where I am functioning very well... or at least better than I have in years.

Dreams have re-awakened in me (as in daydreams, hopes, etc). I am able to write. I am FAR more rational and reasonable. Paul has mentioned often than I am much more rational in our conversations. I don't lose my temper as easily. I am far less irritable and agitated. My whole outlook is improved. Also, my hair is getting much thicker. I have never had thick hair, but now it looks fuller! I believe that this is all an answer to many years of prayers. And, I think this change is almost entirely because of hormone treatments. Please, ladies, do not underestimate your hormones! I HIGHLY recommend the book by Richard Shames Feeling Fat, Fuzzy, and Frazzled?, it is eye-opening!!! (I can't remember if the book mentions evolution and all that. If the book does mention evolving from monkeys or that type of thing, I do NOT endorse evolution.) 

My desire to see women get physically well is secondary only to my desire to seeing them get SPIRITUALLY well! I want to be part of the healing process in your life! I want to encourage you to get right with God! I want to help you in your journey to physical healing as well. This is why I am willing to write posts that make me sound not-so-very-nice. It's all right. I admit it... I'm not perfect. Oh, goodness, the cat's out of the bag now. I am sharing my journey so that you might identify to parts and find healing too. So, you might see other posts about hormone replacement... if/when I have time. And, you might see posts about spiritual healing.... when I have time. right now my focus is on helping women through my books. My fiction novel is chalk full of Bible-based teaching. God has been so good to show me how to weave these teachable moments into fiction. And, honestly, I am excited to see how everything works out. I had originally planned to publish primarily non-fiction books and articles. My passion, my heart, is to teach and encourage women. God has been showing me what a vast audience is available to me in the fiction world. And, I think we all know how easily values can be taught through a good story line, right? (Prime time shows and secular novels are very influential!)

I want to write more, but like I said - I am jealous for my time to write my book. Thank you to my friends who are encouraging me as I write! Thank you for those of you who have been praying for my health for years! It is SO good to be able to get up and work!!! To walk around the house picking up toys and not become overly tired. It is so good to sleep til 6:30 and WAKE UP!!! And, to wake up refreshed, at that! Thank you to all of my friends in Columbia who are committed to praying with me and sharing words of encouragement with me when I see you.

I hope to have further updates soon.

Oh, by the way, I am up to 31,000 words on my book. That is probably about 1/3 to 1/2 finished! Thank you, Lord!

Back to "the old diet"

I think it has been 10 weeks since I radically changed my diet by cutting out: caffeine, sodas, sugar, high fructose corn syrup, and then grains and dairy.

In that time I lost 20 pounds from sheer self-control and determination. Then I got sick and lost another 8 or so pounds. I am down 28 pounds!

So - now what? Well, I have reintroduced grains and dairy... and sugar in moderation.

The Primary reason that I reintroduced grains and dairy was/is because I cannot afford the diet of 50-75% fruits/veggies that I was on before!!! We tried it. I worked hard to try to make it work. But, in the end - wheat, oats, and corn MUST be a cheap staple in my home!!! So, we have gone back to our meatless diet of rice, beans, potatoes, lentils, breads, etc. And, I am okay with that! in fact, since the grocery bill dropped so much I am elated with this  change!

I enjoyed my organic juices. I just cannot afford organic fruit on a regular basis. I can't really afford to do the juicing either. When we started this diet we kept saying "this is just for mommy," or "mommy needs her juice." But, what mommy in her right mind can deny healthy food when her kids ask for it?! So, I just don't do the juicing anymore. (And, my brand new juicer broke. Hence my removal of the affiliate link. I withdraw my endorsement until I know that the company will stand by their product and fix it or return our money.)

I like rice and beans... maybe not so much as my "morning juice." But, I like it. And, I like lentils. They are good. And, my garden will be producing soon... we have gotten a few zucchinis. And, the tomatoes should turn eventually. So, I am not complaining. This post is about informing, not complaining.

This is the right course of action. The General of the House let me try the new diet for as long as he could without going bankrupt to buy organic veggies. 

This is not a big deal... just a little information for anyone who might care.

And, because NYLass asked, here is a recent picture of me - after 28 pounds lost!

I have lost 14% of my total body weight! That sounds more impressive than "28 pounds," doesn't it?

Breakfast Smoothie

I just love the farmer's market! Where else (besides your own yard) can you get fresh fruit without pesticides and icky stuff? I felt very good about paying a somewhat astronomical amount of money for blueberries this past weekend! The money went to a family I actually know in real life! I know exactly how the berries were grown. And, I have been on their "farm" and seen their bushes. Yeah, I feel good about these berries!

Here is my morning concoction:

Makes about 5 cups

Ingredients:

2 apples (I used one fuji, one golden delicious) 

1 orange (I used a Valencia) 

3 frozen bananas 

1 cup fresh blueberries chilled

1-2 cups fresh strawberries chilled

1) I juiced the apples and orange 

2) I poured the juice into my blender.

3) I put the fresh berries and the frozen bananas into the blender with the juice.

4) I blended until the drink was as smooth as desired. 

Do I HAVE to buy organic veggies?

I found this article to be very helpful. 

It tells which fruits and veggies are the most caked in dangerous pesticides. 

There is also a list of least sprayed produce (the "clean list").

Here is ANOTHER fascinating (yet, kind of awful) site.

Hope this helps you all too!

Just make one change

I have been brutally honest about my struggles giving up sugars, caffeine, sodas, etc (all at once!). It has not been easy.

I can imagine that some of you read this blog and think that I have gone off the deep end. Maybe I have. But, I want to encourage you all - you do not have to take out every cherished food item from your diet all at once.

Start Small! Take out one unhealthy item (at a time). Maybe you could start by giving up coke. OR, if you know that you could never completely cut out coke, then cut back to one a day. Really! One summer I lost 12-14 pounds just cutting back to one soda a day.

OR, maybe your nemesis is sweets. Maybe you could cut out sweet desserts except for one weekend treat.

OR, maybe you could slowly wean yourself off of caffeine.

OR, you could force yourself to eat one or two more servings of vegetable and fruit every day! It is a great time of year for that! Getting out of the house and going to the farmer's market is a lot of fun. Or, if you have room in your yard or patio you can plant a garden or grow a few pots of tomatoes.

OR, get out and walk a few minutes every day.

It does NOT have to happen all at once. Only you know what you can handle. I just want to encourage you to make one change.

(I am speaking from experience. I would not be torturing myself with so many drastic changes at once, except that my naturopath expects these changes to heal my body. And still... I struggle! I am not obeying half of the restrictions placed on me.)


-----
updated - y-day I started small with working on my abs and arms. I did 20 crunches and 2 push ups. Hey, it's a start!

Hoeing is Hard Work

Gardening is just about the only activity that takes my mind off of my cravings for chocolate, brownies, and Dr. Pepper. I am not exaggerating. This past week I have started craving brownies and Dr. Pepper to the point of tears. Gardening is the one activity that makes me forget about the cravings - at least until I come back inside.

 Nelson enjoys hoeing!

He works very hard at it.

Last night he hoed the majority of the garden.

I love when he uses his strength, energy and stamina for hard work!


Below, Nelson hoes while I pick out grass and weeds.

Don't try this one at home . . .

I was craving a green juice after my nap. 

My body just feels so sluggish and depressed today. 

Friday was a cook out. 

Saturday was a graduation party. 

And, there was a potluck at church yesterday. 

I made some poor food choices.

I am out of spinach and cucumbers. 

But, I bought a small bag of arugula at the farmers' market this past weekend. 

This was my concoction (do not try this at home, unless you actually like arugula):

- one handful arugula

- one large pear

- 2 granny smith apples

- one little lime

- one celery stalk

Without the arugula it would have been delicious. 

But, wow... I had to choke this healthy drink down. 

It had a lot of *kick* to it. 

Paul drank his too. 

But, the kiddoes were not to fond of this juice.

I do not plan to make this juice again.

Watch this Video

You want to know why I switched to eating a diet of 75% raw foods? (Besides losing a lot of weight?!)

Watch this video!

Hyperactive Son

(Edited 5-7-2013: We now know that diet DRAMATICALLY effects Nelsons' attitude. I recommend food allergy testing, but more than that, KEEP A FOOD DIARY and watch for patterns. Write all food, drinks, condiments, everything.)

I have an eight year old son who is by far the most active (hyperactive) among my brood. He is always moving. He seems to have a built in re-chargeable generator which produces more and more energy.

One time a friend told me that when her boy gets a bit too active during school that she sends him out to run a few laps around the house. Well, I tried that. It does not work. He came in more energetic than he was when he left! It would take hours of running around the house to wear out my boy! 

Another line of thought says to discipline the child more. Nope. That does not work. The Bible tells me not to exasperate my children (Eph. 6:4), and disciplining an eight year old bundle of energy might have that effect! (With Nelson it sure does!) Just learning to sit still can be discipline enough for a high energy child.


I was fairly certain that it was our diet that was causing Nelson's hyperactivity.

BUT, now we have cut out all refined sugars, high fructose corn syrup, and fast food, and the boy is still a walking power generator. Yes, all of this energy would be great if I could steer it somehow. But, generally he cannot sit still more than a few minutes at a time. And, yes, I would like to get him some outdoor chores to keep him occupied. But, that still does not help him sit down long enough to read a book or do his math.

So, what next? I am thinking that there might be a food allergy? Food allergies certainly do weird things to a person's body!

Or, is there some natural supplement to calm a boy down? I have read that more omega 3s can help.

I especially want to hear from moms/dads of "hyperactive" children. Please tell me what has/has not worked for you. I would prefer comments from people who have been there. It is all too easy to say that "there is no such things as ADHD" when you don't have any children at all. (I think I used to be one of those know-it-alls... oops).

(Added 5-7-2013: Nelson's allergy testing showed sensitivities to wheat, eggs, and peanuts. When we cut out wheat and other grains he is a new boy. Eggs do not seem to affect his mood, but they might correlate to his eczema.)

What's For Breakfast?

"Raw" porridge for breakfast? Yep!

Buckwheat is gluten free. It is high in fiber and protein. It has the second highest amount of protein among grains.  (3.5 ounces of whole buckwheat, almost a half cup, has four grams of protein). Be sure to use whole buckwheat!

This was my first attempt at soaking buckwheat. I soaked 1 cup over night. Here is what I wish someone would have told me in advance...
1 - When a recipe calls for 1/2 cup soaked buckwheat, I think they mean measure it after it has been soaked! Silly me, I measured it then soaked it... so my recipe was very heavy in buckwheat.
2 - When rinsing and straining buckwheat it looks similar to dividing and egg... with egg white oozing out the bottom. I rinsed and rinsed and rinsed...


So, here is what I did, which is not quite what the recipe called for.
1 - I soaked 1 cup of  whole buckwheat over night and rinsed it. Then, I put it in the blender with a little water until it looked like smooth oatmeal.
2 - I added one apple and one pear, cut into small chunks.
3 - Added two fresh dates to the blender. (Remember, dates have a pit!)
4 - I added cinnamon to taste.

How does it taste? Well, as I said, I think I was supposed to measure out 1 cup of pre-soaked buckwheat. So, it was very strong on the buckwheat flavor. The texture was kind of like a smooth, gritty oatmeal. I ate one bowl without complaining. And, I will make it again measuring buckwheat the right way! The three youngest children (who have had the least amount of processed foods in their lifetime) all enjoyed it - eating mutliple bowls. Nelson forced it down, but did not like it. Rebecca (who was introduced to fast food from breast milk on...) could not eat it. I would like to try it with a frozen banana added to it to make it colder and sweeter. I think soaking is supposed to be done at room temperature (correct me if I am wrong?). That makes for tepid food if you eat it right away.


If you plan to try this at home it makes one large serving:
1/2 cup pre-soaked whole buckwheat
1 apple, cut up
1 fresh date (not a vacuum sealed date that you have since you made Grandma's fruitcake for Christmas 2009...)
cinnamon to taste


Let me know how you like it!

What's For Lunch?

I am still greatly struggling to feed myself with all my new dietary restrictions (some I put in place, some were recommended by my naturopath who wants to see me lose a lot of weight). But, a few of you have asked what a "day in the life" looks like.

Well - it varies. Greatly.

We have started using organic produce that we usually buy at Natural Grocers. Rule one - buy what is on sale!!! After I hit the sale items I look around the corner at the "discount" produce. These items range from ripe to overripe and bruised. Each bag is $1. I have been known to buy $15 worth of dollar bags and nothing else. It can be an interesting way to try new foods! (The other day Paul was a bit surprised when he peeled a Cara cara thinking it was one of our typical Valencia oranges that I buy for juicing.)

Also, this week we are out of both produce and money, so I cooked bread. (I do the best with what we have. But, I have to feed my family!)

I also drink 2-3 quarts of water a day.

That said:

Breakfast - I LOVE to drink juice for breakfast. Every morning I wake up craving my apple, carrot, celery juice. This, however, is not my full meal (most days...). My naturopath wants me to eat 20 grams of protein in every meal. So, I try to choke down a hard boiled egg or a few cooked eggs. I don't really like eggs anymore. Seriously. The more raw foods I eat, the more raw foods I want! I used to eat whole grains cereal with bananas and milk... but that was before the doc took away my flour/grains. I have also been experimenting with some fruit/veggie "porridge." I am trying new recipes from raw foods cookbooks. Yoghurt is good with fruit... if you can eat dairy.

Mid-morning - Nuts. I like to snack on nuts. Sometimes I might eat a banana. It depends how much fruit I eat with breakfast. I plant to make a raw granola or muesli recipe next week to snack on as well. I have been snacking on cauliflower, because it was in a dollar bag last week!

Lunch - Salad. Lettuce is in season right now. I top it with whatever I have on hand - any combination of: sunflower seeds, avacado, guacamole, tomato, cucumber, green pepper, alfalfa sprouts, cashews, beans, corn, cheese, raw garlic/green pepper/onion "relish"or anything else that sounds good. I am actually getting burnt out on salad... so I need to broaden my horizons soon. I used to eat tri-color pasta twice a week... but, alas, no more pasta!

Afternoon Snack - Nuts. Fruits. Veggies.

Dinner  - This varies more than any other meal. We eat beans or lentils just about daily. I am going to try sprouting lentils soon and eating them raw. Lentils are high in protein... and they are yummy! If we have meat it is usually with dinner. I made chicken salad last week with some organic mayonnaise. I ate the salad using a lettuce leaf "bun." I still like beef with homemade taco seasoning. This past Saturday I bought a grass-fed, grass-finished chuck roast at the farmer's market. I added onion and salt and it was delicious! Even when we do eat meat we usually eat salad and veggies first! You could do frozen or canned veggies (cooked, or without cooking them). Applesauce is a good side dish too.

After dinner snack - Nuts. Juice (I like apple-pear). Paul makes some fanTAStic smoothies: oranges through the juicer, apples through the juicer, pour those in a blender with a frozen banana and some ice.

Added: Don't forget about green smoothies! You can eat them as a meal or as a snack!

For more ideas and INSPIRATION read raw cookbooks. I especially like Raw Foods, by Erica Palmcrantz because it has gorgeous photographs alongside the recipes! I will let you know any other books and blogs that I find especially useful.   

After 5 Weeks (on "the new diet")

Five weeks in - and let me tell you... if I was just doing this new dietary change to lose weight, I would have stopped about 4 weeks ago! Yes, I have lost a lot of weight, but this diet is HARD! But, I keep pushing on for the sake of my health... I want to be well! I am making all of these changes for myself and for the seven people who need me most! I need to be able to physically be there for my family!

Here is a copy of my original goals 5 weeks ago:

My goals for the next few months:
- Get totally off of refined sugar
- Get totally off of caffeine
- Work my way up to a diet of at least 51% fruits and veggies... yikes.
- Drink at least 100 ounces of water every day
- no soda ever, not even decaf
- no sweet tea, not even decaf
- very little meat (this is NOT a change from our current norm. We choose not to spend our limited budget on meat. We have been eating only three pounds of meat a week for the last several months - that's three pounds for the whole family, by the way.)
- less breads (because I eat a LOT of my homemade bread. Great ingredients... in smaller amounts)
- more beans (we already eat beans several days a week. I would like to see it go to at least one meal a day.)
- exercise daily. Gardening counts. Mowing counts. Soccer with the kids counts.I am not expecting marathon condition. I just want to be able to take a walk!
- I do NOT have a goal for weight loss, because ultimately that is not my primary concern. But, I know that I should not weigh 200 pounds. After Baby #5 was born in 2009, I weighed 178 for almost two years. And, after Baby #2 was born in 2003, I got down to 160 by making no dietary changes at all... just with exercise. So, in time, I would like to see a significant reduction in pounds lost. But, for now, it is not a goal

Let's see how we are doing:
- most days I consume very little to zero refined sugars. I will admit to indulging in some treats.
- I am off of caffeine. 
- my diet (and Paul's as well!) is now at LEAST 50% raw fruits and veggies... most days closer to 75%. I am learning to make meals all over again... and it is VERY HARD! I have been borrowing UN-cook books from the library. Those are books that tell you how to prepare raw veggies/fruits. Very interesting, very expensive. And, I must add, once you have tasted organic veggies - there is no turning back!
- I am certainly drinking a lot of water. Paul does too.
- No soda, no sweet tea - not even a sip!
- We have meat once a week... twice if there are leftovers. We get protein from dairy, nuts, and seeds.
- No bread. Our mixer broke and I have not made any bread. I have eaten maybe 3 slices of bread in these past 5 weeks.
- Beans - We actually eat beans about 5 times a week.
- exercise - I am feeling stronger. So, I get outside to work a little every day. I hope to be able to take a walk with my family soon!!! But, for now, 30 minutes of gardening daily is a big accomplishment!
- weight loss - get this friends, I am down 18 pounds! Paul has lost 18 pounds too! My naturopath wants to see me lose a lot more weight, which is why I am eating so much raw veggies and no flours/starches (except for my beans and occasional brown rice). Honestly, if I can go without flours/grains for two days in a row I can lose a pound a day. Really.

In addition to these, I am not experiencing any joint pain!

So, there are many positive results of this radical lifestyle changes. But, I still cry a lot. This diet has been one of the hardest endeavors of my entire life! I will NEVER tell you that it has been easy. But, as time keeps on marching by, I hope to tell you that it has been worth it! There have been results! But, it is very hard to go to a graduation party and not eat cake! It is very hard to make your own food for potluck dinners and not touch anyone else's! It is very hard to have a bad day and get through it without the aid of coffee and cookies!

Friends, you just don't know how much of an idol food is until you try to take it away! My god is my belly! (See Phil 3:19) I am ashamed that I still look to food as my comfort! I want to fully rely upon the Lord... but my appetite shows me where my loyalty truly lies. Yes, I am in earnest. And, no, people do not like to hear this. Most of my close acquaintances have written me off as loony! No one wants to hear about my new research. No one wants to talk about it anymore.

There is a spiritual analogy in this too. (something about people not wanting to be made aware of their sins by being around someone who is trying to live a life pleasing to God). But, I will let you decipher that for yourself.

Progress? Yes!
Challenging? You better believe it!
Worthwhile? Yep!
Will we continue? Absolutely! So, please keep praying for us! This has been a very hard adjustment for our family!

Have a great week friends! Enjoy eating as many vegetables as you can work into your diet!

If you must drink soda . . .

If you just can't quit drinking high fructose corn syrup sodas, then add omega 3 to your diet.

Read the story here.

The Difficulty of Dietary Changes

(Edited for clarity 5-7-2013)

Well friends, it has been a month since I first gave up sugar and high fructose corn syrup. Since that time Paul tried to get me to practice "moderation." He wanted me to try eating normal foods with everyone else at church meals and occasional eat-outs. That did not work out so well. It felt good to eat what everyone else ate at church potluck, but it made me tired... and frankly, I felt emotionally miserable too (like I was a "failure"). So, I don't think this kind of "moderation" will work.

Then, last Monday my naturopath told me to cut out carbs, starches, and to limit dairy. So, I have been trying VERY hard to eat as many fruits and veggies as possible. I can tell you, without any exaggeration!, that I have never eaten so many veggies per meal in my life! But, now I am emotionally (and financially!) miserable. You see, I have been working for months to cut back the food budget and yet make whole foods and healthy meals. We were having a lot of whole wheat pasta, homemade bread, brown rice, and white potatoes. Now, I am supposed to be giving all of those things up. That might be okay... if I could afford to by veggies, nuts, seeds, sprouts, etc!

I spent $100 a few days ago on raw veggies, fruits, seeds, and nuts and it is all gone already! We flat out cannot afford to eat veggies until our garden comes in! So, now what? Starving myself does not seem to be a comfortable solution. I don't like being hungry. Yet, that is what I am doing most days... eating very, very little.
And, it is no small wonder then that I am perhaps more of an emotional basket case then I was last week when I went to the Doctor.

There is more to it than that. My whole life is chaos... It is not just about food. But, food is generally the only medium that I can actually control. Now, I cannot even control food.

If you are my friend in real life you can call to encourage me. Better yet, you can pray for me. Because right now nothing sounds quite as good as a Mt. Dew and some homemade brownies.
(And sadly, Mt Dew is a whole lot cheaper than veggies... at least in the immediate future. I have enough sense to see that in the long-run drinking soda is not affordable. Diabetes. Cancer. Chronic fatigue. These are not "cheap." So, I will stick to my "diet," but I am an emotional mess.)

Breakfast Experimentation

I tried something new this morning for breakfast... and let me tell you, it's got some kick to it!

I juiced:
- a bunch of carrots (you can use the tops if you have them)
- one cucumber
- 2 inches of ginger root
- one lemon

My first reflex was puckering so tightly that it might have looked like lockjaw.

But, when sipped slowly, it was kind of good.

I poured it into 2 year old Josiah's cup and he drank it right down! Rebecca and I liked it. I will make it again!

More dietary changes

We went to the naturopath yesterday afternoon. He is optimistic... but I will have to make some more (severe) changes to my diet.

I already knew that he wanted me to eat more protein. So, that was not a shock. The new concern is that I need to stabilize my blood sugar. He said that I "traded one sugar for another." He thinks that a big reason that I was doing so well a few weeks back then plummeted was because I started eating so much breads and starches. So, I need to try to eat even more veggies than I already am. And, I will cut out some carbs (breads and pastas) and starches (corn and white potatoes).

Also, there is a huge possibility that my fatigue and joint pains flared up because I was de-toxing too quickly. I introduced more fruits and veggies than my body had seen in a long time. I lost 12 pounds in two weeks and my body just could not expel the toxins quick enough. So, I am going to keep trying to drink 3 qts of water a day. And, I am going to do warm water enemas to help continue to detoxify. (Once a week. Water only because I am nursing.)

In addition to these we added a few supplements. I still have the candida overgrowth from years of bad diet and years of black mold exposure. I am going to be taking mega doses of probiotics and anti-fungals (garlic!) to try to clear that up. I am also taking a few herbals for hormone balance. And, he is giving my big doses of vitamin D3 to get me caught up to where I should be.

We are hopeful that I will see some positive changes very soon!

back to the naturopath

I will be going to the Naturopath this afternoon.

I have been to this doctor before, about a year and a half ago (when I did not have blog access to talk about it). At the time I did not care for some of his treatments. But, I am going to try again. He is a very good doctor. He asks questions and actually listens to your answers.

Paul has been wanting to set up an appointment for a few months, but I declined for two reasons.
1- It is not cheap.
2- The doctor expects me to eat healthy... and I did not want to do that. I told Paul that if my dietary changes did not bring enough relief from my disability then I would agree to go back.

So - at 4 today I go back to the naturopath. Will I do any better on the treatments this time? Will I follow through with the high-protein diet that he recommends? Will it help?