Joint Pains

These past few days have brought a flare up for my unknown disability. My knees ache terribly. I cannot go up and down stairs. My knees do not look swollen, but they feel stiff and swollen. My fingers and my toes hurt too.

At the beginning of my recent pregnancy (March 2011) I was seeing a doctor to determine the cause of my disability. I did not blog about it, because I was without internet access. Anyway, this particular doctor was certain that it was something autoimmune, and she believed it to be Lupus. She tested me for Lupus and it came back negative. She later told me that she thought that could be a false negative because of the hormones of pregnancy.

As she explained it, during pregnancy, autoimmune function changes so that the woman feels better. (She said it in more doctor lingo, I am paraphrasing one year later...) On finding out I was expecting again, she said "Congratulations on your 9 month cure."

I forgot about her words... until this week. The pain in my knees is so bad that I could not sleep well. I am not the type to take medicine unless I am about half-dead. So, I did not take an anti-inflammatory. If Paul would have known about my pain, he would have insisted that I needed to take something. But, Paul was asleep.

I don't know what is going on with my body. I pray that I am not entering into the downward spiral of disability. I spend as much time as I can out of doors in the sunshine. But, I cannot really work. I watch as Paul does the gardening and the landscaping. I watch as Paul plants our new prairie grass (thanks, mom!) and mulches around it. I sit and feel the aching and stiffness in my aches while I watch.

I am not despondent (yet?). I can still sing. I can type. I can play piano for just a few moments. I was able to write a few pages in my book last night... before my hand cramped beyond use. And, fortunately, I have a ten year old daughter who can (does!) shoulder the load while Paul is at work.

Not a good time for Paul to take on a new job. But, GOD has HIS reasons. God is good - all the time. And, I need to trust that He has my good in mind all the while.

When I come to your mind, will you pray for me? And, pray for my children. Rebecca, especially, is carrying a very heavy load!