We all daydream of mountain top experiences in our lives.
Few of us like the moments in the valley or the dessert. But, I have been
meditating on life in the wilderness for quite a while now.
For our family, 2013 was a year spent wandering in the
wilderness. God ALWAYS provided for the things that we truly needed. Sometimes
we had to wait until the eleventh hour. Sometimes God would not give us what we
wanted, because He knew that we did not NEED it. But, God never left us.
When the Israelites were wandering in the dessert God
provided their daily bread one day at a time. I have come to believe that this
may be the single greatest sign that a person is truly in a spiritual dessert…
because they literally have to pray “give us this day our daily bread.” (Daily bread could be literal food, physical strength, emotional stability, etc.) We
humans don’t do well with one-day-at-a-time philosophies. I want to know that
my financial future is secure. We want retirement plans, life insurance, secure
jobs, etc. And, there is nothing wrong with good planning! God gave us our
brains to plan for our future.
But, some times we experience situations completely outside
of our control. In our case it was Paul’s
herniated discs from January to
March. Then, a few months of work. Then,
another type of hernia from May to
July. Back to work for a few weeks in August. Then, WHAM!,
someone ran into Paul’s UPS truck and
Paul was fired for being in a wreck that wasn’t his fault.
Back to work in October and running strong till the end of the year resulted in
a total of 32 weeks working and 20 weeks without work and without pay.
Talk about a dessert.
I hated it. I kicked against it. I refused to learn from it.
I continually prayed against it. I wanted it over. I don’t ever want to go
back.
But, yet…
In the dessert is where our faith is truly tested and
refined. God loves our family so much that He wants us to be closer to
Him. And, as I read the Old Testament (in particular) I see God saying to
the Israelites that they will draw near to Him in the wilderness. They will
cling to Him in the dessert. They will run to Him when under attack from the enemy.
But, when they have plenty of food and money… then, they seem to allow distance
to come between them and their Creator. (See Deut. 6)
We all do it.
I was crying the other day. Paul was with me while I was emoting… and he had some wise responses. He said, “What’s
so great about the mountain? We learn in the dessert. We don’t learn on the
mountain. On the mountain we say ‘Lord, should I build you three tents?’” (See Luke 9, especially verse 33) I see
his point. Paul is right.
God loves to give us blessings. But, His blessings are not
always in the form of more money and better health. There are times that He
sees that we will grow from a period of sifting. Satan asks the Lord for
permission to sift His people. He asked for permission to bring trouble to Job.
These troubles are allowed by the Lord because blessings come in many forms.
Our family prays nightly that we will be the family God has
meant us to be. It is quite possible that we need to go through some rough
times to refine us and purify us. I cry out daily, “I want what You want for me
life.” If you are going to pray that prayer…well, you need to be prepared for God
to answer. And, it may not look like what you expect. Maybe God does want to
give you riches and health. But,
maybe He wants you to taste a bit of pain to be better acquainted with the sufferings of Jesus Christ. (see
Phil 3:7-10)
Some of my dearest friends would view this line of thinking
as heresy. But, Jesus tells us that in this world we will have troubles. He
does not promise that we will be free from trouble! (see John 16:25-33) He promises that He will be
with us when the trouble comes.
So, I write this on the edge of the dessert gazing towards the
fertile crescent. It’s so close that I can smell the water and green grass. I
acknowledge that I would rather be in the refreshing green pastures than in
this arid climate, but I want to recollect (in case I lose sight of the Lord
when we enter a time of abundance and plenty) that the time in the dessert
was/is well-spent.
I don’t ask the Lord to take me back to the wilderness. But,
if He sees that it is necessary for our family to spend more time there – I will
try to praise Him in the midst of that situation, because God is still God. He
is the One who gives us the daily manna in the dessert. He will never leave us
or forsake us. And, I trust that the Lord will do what is necessary to fulfill
His purposes for my life. (
Psalm 57:2)
NOTE: I wrote this thinking that our time in the dessert was nearing an end. Paul was working full time at UPS (finally) and all would be well. So I thought. But, my fibromyalgia reached an all time low. In Feb-April of 2014, I could not take care of my own basic needs. Paul left his job at UPS to care for me and teach the children. At the time, it seemed like the only solution. The months that followed were far worse than the agonies we had experienced in 2013. So, perhaps, we needed more time in the wilderness to draw near to God. By American standards, we have not yet had a time of "abundance and plenty," but our table has food on it and we have vehicles that work. I am grateful!
