Convictions and Trials

(Posted from a draft written on 9-23-2010 about a year ago. This post was originally written while we were looking for housing to get away from our moldy old farm house.)

Trials have a way of testing our convictions!

As I share my trial, I am not trying to "judge" anyone else. I am just thinking out loud. Each family needs to come to their own convictions after much Bible reading and prayer.

Paul and I have a conviction that a mother's primary job and ministry is to take care of her husband and  children. For our family this means that I do not work an outside job, and I homeschool our children. I am being brief today, but I have written about this topic before - here.

Today's post is about how, because of our present trial by fire (in the way of looking for housing on a very limited income), our convictions are truly put to the test. There have been many times in the past when we have considered sending me to work in the evenings, when Paul could stay with the children. But, each time we decided that we could make due on Paul's income. We have given up many luxuries (except for internet). And, we eat a lot of oatmeal, rice and beans. But, our consciences were satisfied.

But, now we are facing a new trial - finding a safe home on a very small income (while at the same time repairing our credit by paying off past debts). We have written a budget that is based on Paul's income. And, we allotted ourselves 30% of that income for housing needs. But, in our price range we are hard-pressed to find a safe home in a quiet neighborhood. Paul leaves for work at 3 am, and he wants to be able to do so with peace of mind that no one will be breaking in. We are oh-so-tempted to raise our budget number just another $50, or another $100 per month to be able to have many choices of comfortable housing within reach. And, I have thought on many occasions, "If I would work waiting tables at night, we could have any house we want."

BUT, when would our family have time together? When we would have family worship? When would I see my husband?
These are the questions that keep our convictions in place... though it might mean living in a place much smaller than we like... in a neighborhood louder than we like... with less luxuries than we like...

I want to honor God with my life. And, I truly believe that He intends for me to stay at home with the children and care for them. And, when Paul is home I am to care for him - not leave him to fend for himself and the children.

(Added: One year later... we ended up moving to a much nicer home in October of 2010. I never did have to work outside of the home. God provided for our needs... though Paul often worked LONG hours!)