(Re-posted 8-14-2018. I removed this posting before because I felt scared. Scared of criticism. These are sensitive issues, and hard to open up about publicly. But, I think more good will come from this posting than harm. I pray to that end!)
I found another one today... another blogger, from a certain kind of religious homeschool background, that has left the faith entirely. I don't go looking for these people. I truly believe that God leads me to them for two reasons, and I can't really determine an order of importance here: 1) to warn and caution me of what can happen in my own family if I wander too far down the path of rigid rule-keeping, and 2) to pray for these children and adults who are wounded and angry.
As I have said before, our hearts ought to break for the same things that make God's heart sad. I imagine that God is saddened by the children who leave the faith (whether they come from legalism or liberalism). But, unlike us, God can see the big picture. He knows what is happening in every thread in the tapestry of grace that He is weaving with our lives.
I am seeing more and more people who - as a response to recent scandals and abuse - are withdrawing from the homeschooling movement entirely. I read a lot of bloggers who lump all Christian homeschoolers together as being isolationist, fundamentalist, legalistic people who are inherently dangerous.
We cannot paint all of homeschooling with so broad a stroke as to say that all homeschool children are in danger. We should certainly be aware of signs of abuse when we see them, but we should not expect that all homeschool families are abusive.
Our family still home educates our children. It can be exhausting and challenging. But we love it! However, I will go on record as saying that I do not think that every family should homeschool their children - it's not for everyone. While most of the homeschool families I know appear to be balanced and healthy, I have known some sad situations where a child was not being educated adequately.
It seems like the people coming out of these dangerous, cultic type homeschool groups are the ones who are speaking most loudly against the movement as a whole. Perhaps their experience was limited to meeting only people just like their own dysfunctional families (that is usually how those types of protective groups operate). I am sure there are also a lot of children like the ones I know who grow up being homeschooled and graduate to become happy, healthy people who love the Lord and raise up nice families of their own. Not all homeschool families are monsters! I have no statistics to support this claim, just my own experience.
I think we can be honest and say that there are some dangerous systems of thought and isolation that may lead some families into abuse. But, even then, God can grab people out of danger and set their feet on more firm soil! By the grace of God, this is what He has done for our family. We were being drawn down some dangerous roads, but God has plucked us away from the fire.
The expression that comes to mind is - Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.
Should we re-evaluate why we are homeschooling? Absolutely!
Should we ask ourselves if our own family is isolationist or abusive? Absolutely!
Should we honestly evaluate if we are fit to be homeschooling our own children? Absolutely!
If you cannot answer all those questions to the affirmative, then I submit to you that maybe you are in danger... Danger of holding an ideal so strongly that you may not be asking God what HE wants for your family.
I believe that most of the families who have emerged from scandal and disgrace originally intended to raise godly children. They meant well! (Just like I mean well!) No parent would go to all the work of homeschooling with ill-will in their hearts. Maybe they just didn't see red flags along the way. Maybe they were lied to by gurus who also meant well. I can't really say. But, I truly believe that they meant to act in a way that pleased the Lord.
So, even though my voice is strongly joined with those who oppose abuse, control, legalism, and performance-based "grace," I will be among the first to admit that none of us is close to perfect! We all make mistakes in our parenting journey. God can redeem what (to us) looks like ruin!
Performance-based Christianity will lead to rigid rule keeping. Rigid rule keeping without love will lead to rebellion against God and family. We must balance love and rules to grow healthy, happy children!
I found another one today... another blogger, from a certain kind of religious homeschool background, that has left the faith entirely. I don't go looking for these people. I truly believe that God leads me to them for two reasons, and I can't really determine an order of importance here: 1) to warn and caution me of what can happen in my own family if I wander too far down the path of rigid rule-keeping, and 2) to pray for these children and adults who are wounded and angry.
As I have said before, our hearts ought to break for the same things that make God's heart sad. I imagine that God is saddened by the children who leave the faith (whether they come from legalism or liberalism). But, unlike us, God can see the big picture. He knows what is happening in every thread in the tapestry of grace that He is weaving with our lives.
I am seeing more and more people who - as a response to recent scandals and abuse - are withdrawing from the homeschooling movement entirely. I read a lot of bloggers who lump all Christian homeschoolers together as being isolationist, fundamentalist, legalistic people who are inherently dangerous.
We cannot paint all of homeschooling with so broad a stroke as to say that all homeschool children are in danger. We should certainly be aware of signs of abuse when we see them, but we should not expect that all homeschool families are abusive.
Our family still home educates our children. It can be exhausting and challenging. But we love it! However, I will go on record as saying that I do not think that every family should homeschool their children - it's not for everyone. While most of the homeschool families I know appear to be balanced and healthy, I have known some sad situations where a child was not being educated adequately.
It seems like the people coming out of these dangerous, cultic type homeschool groups are the ones who are speaking most loudly against the movement as a whole. Perhaps their experience was limited to meeting only people just like their own dysfunctional families (that is usually how those types of protective groups operate). I am sure there are also a lot of children like the ones I know who grow up being homeschooled and graduate to become happy, healthy people who love the Lord and raise up nice families of their own. Not all homeschool families are monsters! I have no statistics to support this claim, just my own experience.
I think we can be honest and say that there are some dangerous systems of thought and isolation that may lead some families into abuse. But, even then, God can grab people out of danger and set their feet on more firm soil! By the grace of God, this is what He has done for our family. We were being drawn down some dangerous roads, but God has plucked us away from the fire.
The expression that comes to mind is - Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.
Should we re-evaluate why we are homeschooling? Absolutely!
Should we ask ourselves if our own family is isolationist or abusive? Absolutely!
Should we honestly evaluate if we are fit to be homeschooling our own children? Absolutely!
If you cannot answer all those questions to the affirmative, then I submit to you that maybe you are in danger... Danger of holding an ideal so strongly that you may not be asking God what HE wants for your family.
I believe that most of the families who have emerged from scandal and disgrace originally intended to raise godly children. They meant well! (Just like I mean well!) No parent would go to all the work of homeschooling with ill-will in their hearts. Maybe they just didn't see red flags along the way. Maybe they were lied to by gurus who also meant well. I can't really say. But, I truly believe that they meant to act in a way that pleased the Lord.
So, even though my voice is strongly joined with those who oppose abuse, control, legalism, and performance-based "grace," I will be among the first to admit that none of us is close to perfect! We all make mistakes in our parenting journey. God can redeem what (to us) looks like ruin!
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Cor. 1:3-4 ESV
Performance-based Christianity will lead to rigid rule keeping. Rigid rule keeping without love will lead to rebellion against God and family. We must balance love and rules to grow healthy, happy children!
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