Monday, July 4, 2011

Breathing Easy

If you have not read yesterday’s post called “Uncondemned,” you might want to start there.
I am laughing at myself this morning. I am feeling so light and merry. Writing that post yesterday was just what I needed to sort all my thoughts! When I began the post, I was angry and confused. But, really, by the time it was published I felt a huge burden lifted. (I am one of those people who thinks best on paper!)

Ahhh… I’m breathing easy today.

Anyway, I still really WANT to homeschool. What’s more, Paul and I still think that homeschooling is best for our kids (yes, even if they are “behind.”) BUT, what I had to come to grips with was this – homeschooling does not effect my relationship with God one bit!

I am going to plan on teaching the kids this year, and try to get them caught up in math (using a different curriculum that I think they will actually like). I am planning to start Lydia’s first grade material. I will be doing Joshua’s pre-K/kindergarten (at that age it is hard to distinguish).

AND, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!

Here’s what happened:
I just had to shake off some of the ridiculous standards placed on me by real-life friends, bloggers, authors, and maybe even some imaginary condemnation too. (We homeschoolers tend to be a bit defensive.) Once I came to the place where I said – “I can’t do it” (at least I can’t do it like my friend SuperMom with 8 kids whose children are all learning Greek, Hebrew, and a few other languages on top of piano, physics, etc), and once I figured out for myself “that’s okay, if you can’t do it, God loves you anyway” THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING!

I want to homeschool even more than I did before. Because I think my motivation in doing so has changed.  I am NOT homeschooling to be right with God. I am NOT homeschooling to find favor with God. I am NOT homeschooling to fit in. I am NOT homeschooling to make anyone outside of myself (and Paul) pleased with me.

I am done homeschooling in a people-pleasing fashion. Done – and FREE! I AM FREE to homeschool. (Thanks to Mama Hen, who on my post “Liberated” made a wonderful comment about how being free in Christ makes us free to do these good works as well. Amen, sister!)

I thank God for unstrapping burden after burden from my back! Thank you God! Praise you, God!

To you, patient reader, who is watching as I process all that Paul and I have been going through for years… consider it a metamorphosis! We have been shut up in a cocoon for a long, long time and God is giving us wings to fly. And, I pray that our flight inspires you.

Our God is Wonderful! What a mighty God we serve!

4 comments:

NYLass said...

Beth,
I recently heard a quote that you might appreciate:
the definition of wealth or being wealthy: having options.
The amazing thing to me is that in Christ we truly have all the options in the world!!! :O)
Praise Him!!
peace to you dear...

Bethany in mid-MO said...

NYLass,

I like that. Good stuff.

Bethany

Mama Hen said...

Bethany, Lightening hit our house (again!), so I am just catching up on your posts.

Girl, we just need to move next door to each other (you know I'm in the South, right?).

I have had lots of personal emotional things going on and my hubby just took a lot of things off my calendar for me (so thankful to him), but my mind and body is just tired and wore out right now. I needed to be reminded that I am Free indeed, Free to do what HE wants me to do.

Bethany in mid-MO said...

Mama Hen,
So sorry to hear that you were struck again! That explains why you had not posted for a day or two. Did you keep your AC this time?

If you hope to recruit people to your corner of the world you ought not post about the sweltering heat and annoying insects - it works against you. Still, you did have that dream last year...

Bethany