My advice to Young singles and newlyweds (finances)

It is that time of year again... wedding planning around every corner. It got me to thinking about how it is more important to plan for a marriage than for a wedding. This, of course, takes years of preparations.

This post is not written as an accusation to anyone that I know! Not in the least! It is just what I wish someone would have told me. This is not the sum of my knowledge, just the first dozen or so things that came to mind.

Today's post is limited to one topic - Finances.

I don't know a whole lot about money. I am not a financial guru. But, I can help you learn from my mistakes, and that is my chief aim. Sure, it is a little embarrassing for us to talk about our past, but if it keeps just one person from following our path it is worth it!

- Do whatever you can to stay out of debt as long as you can! So often young adults enter into marriage with the idea of living to the standard they grew up with - it just rarely works this way. I would bet that your own parents as newlyweds rarely ate "out." Most new married couples (20+ years ago) scraped by without the luxuries of fast food and $4 coffee from a drive through. Trying to live like your parents without their income is a recipe for disaster.
- You can live with less furniture, or used furniture. You really don't need to go buy a new bedroom group, dining room group, and living room group (each with a $2500+ price tag). Craigslist and second hand stores always have cheap tables and chairs that you could clean up, or even refurbish, for very little. Auctions would be a good place to look for furniture too.
- You don't "need" cable and home internet. Cable IS a luxury and you can get by without it. And, you probably already have internet on your phone. You can always use the library for more extensive projects. As for cable, we have been married 13 years and have had cable a total of maybe 2 months that entire time. Take walks, go to a park, read a book, make a picnic, go fishing, learn to garden or hunt, learn to cook, do crafts, there is a lot to keep you busy without cable tv.
- If you are still single - SAVE your money! Don't buy bigger better cars now. Don't waste your hard-earned money on soda and coffee. SAVE it! You will thank me later.
- As much as you can, use shop towels and such to clean spills, and save money on paper towels.
- Before you go enter college or grad school, make sure that is what you really want to do. Ask yourself if you really need a degree to do what you see yourself doing in the future. College loans are a headache that hangs over you for years to come! (I am not discouraging college, I just want you to know that you know that you need to go)
- When setting up housekeeping - Buy used appliances. Washers, dryers, 'fridge, etc. You will be glad you did.
- Buy used cars. With cash.
- Consider doing some things "the old fashioned way" - hang out laundry on a line, cook from "scratch," drink water, use wood heat, if you live in town - walk to work.
- Save credit cards for emergencies, do not use them on consumable stuff like fast food (except in a real bind or when traveling.)
- Buy clothes at name brand stores only at the end of the season, or shop at second hand stores. You can look nice without spending a fortune, or signing up for a Macy's credit card account. (Yeah... ask me how I know... only back then it was called Famous-Barr.)
- Do NOT feel obligated to buy nice gifts for friends at weddings, birthdays, etc. A simple inexpensive gift will do just fine. Consider making a gift, like an apron, or cloth napkins or something. Or, just give a card, and when they are in your shoes (married, just trying to make it week to week), they will thank you.
- After you are married - SAVE as much as you can for emergencies, household items (furnace/roof/etc), a baby, etc.
- Write a budget and stick to it as much as possible. Read books by Christian financial gurus.

Above all - Be realistic. You have the rest of your lives to live out your dreams! It does not have to happen this year, or even in this decade!

A few verses to meditate on: The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender's slave.        Prov 22:7 (NASB)

'You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, and you shall not desire your neighbor's house, his field or his male servant or his female servant, his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.'

Deut 5:21 (NASB)

    For we brought nothing into the world,              and we can take nothing out.   But if we have food and clothing,  we will be content with these.
        1 Tim 6:7-8 (HCSB)

Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,  Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord GOD is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.
       Hab 3:17-19 (NASB)


What are your suggestions for newlyweds and young singles?

Without Apologies (Food Expenses Part 2)

Disclaimer: This blog is about growing in the Lord. And, I want to distinguish that I am NOT saying in any of my "healthy living" posts that eating better gets me in better standing with God. Healthy eating is a good thing, but it does not improve my relationship with the Lord. I post about this topic, because it is important to me as a homemaker. You have liberty to eat as you will... eating Oreos and McDonalds will not send you to hell... I am never, never saying that.   


I was woken up during the night and I could not get back to sleep. So, I pondered my food expenses again. (Please tell me that I am not the only person who lies awake in the middle of the night solving the problems of the world?)

Anyway, I thought of more expensive foods that I buy... without apology. Paul and I are definitely on the same page here.

We sweeten our foods with honey (the best that we can afford). We use REAL, pure maple syrup on our oatmeal and pancakes. These items are pretty expensive (since we cannot keep bees right now... though it is a long-term goal! And, we are not likely to start tapping trees for sap this year.) But, no matter how cheap sugar/brown sugar is (REALLY cheap) we only use it if we have to. Occasionally we buy succanat to replace the brown sugar in recipes.

We buy cheeses that are milk based, not oil-based. We eat a lot of cheese, though I no longer serve it by itself as a snack. We use our food processor or a grater to shred cheese for many meals. And, it is wonderful how a meal of rice and beans is transformed by cheese!!! Yep - we will not be cutting out this expensive item either.

Butter - ummmm.... butter... We LOVE cooking with butter and slathering it on our fresh bread. But, unless we find really good deals, butter can be really expensive. We tried to make our own, but our raw milk comes from a cow with a lower butter-fat-content. It is still my dream (make that OUR dream) to have our own goats or cows... the higher butter content the better!, some day. But, this is another LONG-term goal. We have not bought margarine for about 3 years.

So, this post is the results of my midnight ponderings. We choose to buy some expensive foods. And, I am okay with that. Still, we don't want to go overboard on our food expenses goals or our healthy eating goals. We will keep praying that we will keep a good balance on these issues. (Fortunately for me, my husband excels at moderation!)

How about you? Do you feel balanced? How would you like to see change in your family? Are you very little concerned about healthy eating? Are you too concerned about healthy eating? Maybe someone else here can learn from your comments.

And, in case I don't see you again, Happy Thanksgiving! 

Food Expenses

I have been totaling all of our food expenses for November and I am still a little discouraged by the numbers. I counted the 1st of the month through the 21st of the month as 3 weeks. And, I subtotaled each week, then averaged the expense per week. I am a little sorry to say that we are still spending an average of $134 per week on food (for a family of 7, not counting unborn Baby).

Honestly, maybe this is not so bad...

Here is the USDA's guidelines  for Oct. 2011, for the cost of foods for individuals. (You can see the whole chart, for other months here) I tallied my family, using their "thrifty plan" amounts and came up with an estimate of $219.8/week.
Even my highest weeks were not that high. So, maybe we are not doing so bad...
All I know is that is seems like too much for our family!

Considerations:
-I did have to make some purchases that will not be made every month - like 50 pounds of oats (week 1) and 50 pounds of flour (week3). But, I just keep thinking, "what else can I do?!" Meat is usually the most expensive food per pound. But, I buy very little of that. And, fruit is sort of costly per pound, but I buy whatever is on sale. And, we cut back our fresh fruit intake significantly!
- I had to buy pecans this week... ouch! (Nuts cost far more than meat, per pound.)
-We are buying water right now, because our well water is non-potable. But, we are only paying .38/gallon, for a refill at Wal-Mart. (And, we hope that our Culligan water system will be fixed soon...)
-If we give up the raw milk delivery we would only be saving about 50 cents per gallon. And, I would likely not give the kids near as much milk - because store bought milk constipates the children and makes Paul's so-called "lactose intolerance" act up. But, without milk, they would need to eat more food... So, this is not a good option.
-We also have family/friends over for dinner at least twice a month, usually more. But, this is something that we do not plan to cut out! In fact, we wish we could host more meals! (Sometimes our shared meals are potluck style, with other families helping carry the load.)

The good news is, we still spend less that the "average" American family.

And, all of this food money was spent on actual food at the grocery store. We are not eating out at all.

So, we are doing much better than we were! I am writing this post, largely, for my own "memory." I want to be able to look back and see how we are doing. But, if it helps encourage/challenge you to review your own family's expenses, I will be happy to have helped!

Saving Money on Meats

You probably already know this, but I am going to remind you... in case you forgot.

If you purchase meat at the grocery store after the weekend is over (usually Monday, though it might be Tuesday this coming week because of Labor Day), you can get it at a discounted rate.

Last week I got Rump Roast and Chuck Roast at about $2.50 pound! I felt like I was stealing, buying up all the packages that were left. Not only is it a great Crock Pot meal on these warm days, but it is an excellent alternative to lunch meat in Paul's lunch! (As you might recall, we have cut almost all lunchmeat out of our diet in the past month). AND, at these prices it is much cheaper than lunchmeat, which is at least $5/pound around here.

Just thought that I would pass this money-saving tip on to you!

(P.S - I froze my meat using a Food Saver. We have been packaging all sorts of meats in Food Saver bags for about 6 years now! I highly recommend vacuum sealing your meats!)

Money Does NOT Grow on Trees

I know that parents often tell their children that "money does not grow on trees." But, I fear that we often live in a way that belies this fact!

When Paul and I first got married, we made the same mistake that most folks in our generation do - we attempted to live to the same degree of "comfort" that we grew up to expect... only, we wanted it right then!

Enter credit card debt.

We spent all of our wedding money and maxed out my credit card to buy things to make our house "homey." In addition we ate out quite often, because we had both come from families who ate out often. And, well, I did not know how to cook. So, it was only natural to go out nearly every day.
BIG. MISTAKE.

First of all, if you ARE going to use a credit card, do NOT use it on something so consumable as a meal out!

In those first two years of marriage we acquired more credit cards. We wanted to be able to dress as well as we did while we were single. My parents dressed me very well, buying most of my clothes on clearance racks at upscale stores (Famous Barr end of the season sales - how I miss those!). In order for Paul and I to finance such a lifestyle we had to get credit cards.
We were very foolish.  
If anyone had told me that in two years of maxing out credit cards that I would completely ruin my chances of buying a house for another 10 years - I might have listened. But, you see, I thought money grew on trees. I just knew that somewhere down the line we would have all the money we wanted to pay back these items (and buy more!).


There were other immature decisions made, that would negatively effect our future, but I do not care to rehash that here. I just want to make this point-

Dear Christian parents, please impress this upon your children (and direct them to this blog post if you like):

The decisions you make about your spending early on will affect the rest of your life!

Paul and I joke now that every banking institution, auto plaza, and student financial aid office should be required by law to post a plaque that say this: 

The rich rules over the poor,
 and the borrower is the slave of the lender. 
(Prov 22:7 ESV - emphasis mine)

I have to point out that the verse immediately preceeding this is:

Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Prov. 22:6 ESV

Hmmm... do you think that wise old Solomon might have been trying to tell us something?

Paul and I are still young parents. And, admittedly, our children are very young. But, we are intent on teaching them early and often about the dangers of debt! We do not want to see them in a position where they cannot do as they want or go where they want, because of the debt they are in. We pray that we will be a good example to them that God can repair the ruins! BUT, we still hope and pray that they never find themselves in such a position. I do hope they choose for themselves humble homes and modest cars, but not out of necessity.

Back to my original sentence: What we, as parents do often belies what we say (about money not growing on trees.)
1 - Are you making every purchase with a credit card? Do your children see that? If so, do you tell them your plan for paying that credit card off?
2- Are you buying them all the clothes and toys they want, and never making them show a little patience (or gratitude) for such a gift?
3- Do you give your children money without any guidance how to spend it? And, do they get an "allowance" without having to earn it? Because, rarely does it work like that in the real world.
4 - Are you talking to your children about college expenses? Or, are they taking for granted that they can get a loan for that? Or, that you will pay for that? (For those of you who do pay for your children's college, I am not condemning you. I think it is great that your kids won't have to start out with thousands of dollars in debt. But, do they really know what it is costing you? Do they know all the cut backs you have had to make to pay for them? My parents paid for my first two years - books and all. I don't think that I even said thank you... because I thought money grew on trees.)

I know I have a lot to learn. And, I hope our readers know that I am speaking this from a heart of love and compassion. I am writing this out of my own experience! If you have specific ideas of training children in the way they should go in regards to finances, please feel free to leave a comment.

I LOVE MY GARDEN!

I am so happy that our garden is actually producing!!! Praise the Lord!!!

I never told the blog world this before, in case nothing grew - but we spent a grand total of $25 on our garden plants! (My FIL gave us our cherry tomato plants, because he did not mean to buy them.) Lord willing, by the end of this month, that we have easily gotten back more than we put in! Praise the Lord!

We have loads of peppers: sweet green bells, jalepenos, red chili peppers, banana peppers, and orange bells! We LOVE peppers. Today I will be looking for stuffed jalepeno recipes, as ours are mature and ready to harvest! Next, I am going to learn how to store peppers. I know that green bells can be frozen (just cut out the seeds, slice, and freeze!), but can I freeze other peppers? I am off to do research, but I welcome your comments and expeience.

As for the rest of the garden - the cherry tomatoes are giving us just enough to fill our tummies every day, and the full size tomatoes are slooowwwly ripening. (Unfortunately, we already lost our one and only ripe tomato to worms... guess I planted my marigolds too far away.)
Yesterday, I actually went out in a downpour to get fresh cherry tomatoes for my dinner! (It was worth it!)

The cauliflower did not turn out. I guess we planted it too late, oh well. It was worth a try.

The onions are useable, but not full grown.

The potato plants are huge, but I have not yet dug a potato up - we planted them a little late.

I will let you know how my cooking experiments turn out!

Garden Goodies

When Healthy Eating and Budget Collide

My desire, as chief cook and bottle washer homemaker of our family, is to have our family eat as many raw and unrefined foods as I can reasonably fit into each meal. The catch in that sentence is "reasonably fit," because healthy eating can get very costly! Right now, my 6yo Nelson eats more than my husband at every meal. And, my 8yo Becca eats more than I do at every meal. So, I need to seriously consider the food budget!

We are currently making most meals from scratch. And, while this is cheaper than eating out, it would be cheaper yet if I would make a few changes.

Here is what I am considering:

Presently, I am using raw/pure honey in place of sugar in recipes. This stuff costs a fortune! I am ashamed to say what I spend per gallon. I have heard of an Amish man that sells a 5 gallon bucket for only  $75. That would be really cheap... for raw honey. BUT, for us that might still be too expensive. So, I am debating between buying the refined honey in bulk from Sam's Club, OR I will buy a 50 pound bag of evaporated cane juice from the Dutch Foods Store. I have not priced the honey at Sam's yet. But, I think that the bag of sugar is $21.99.

Next is succanat. I have never been able to get it in bulk, so I paid $2.50/pound. I use succanat to replace brown sugar in my recipes. But, I will just be completely honest... I already bought brown sugar. I cannot afford succanat. Brown sugar is cheaper.

We have never been able to afford to buy organic. But, we do grow our own pesticide-free/herbicide-free produce. We will not change anything in this category. 

I use real butter, in place of margarine. Yes, I know that some of you think that margarine is the healthier option, and I am crazy. But, I have read otherwise. And, I think that sticking with food the way God made it is always better! The problem - butter costs about 4 times the cost of margarine! I could either 1) make my own butter, 2) switch to margarine, or 3) change nothing. Since I like the taste and consistency of real butter, I will not be switching to margarine. And, since we are not buying raw milk and cream right now, I cannot start making it. But, just as soon as we can get back on raw milk, I plan to make my own. Better yet! I want my own milk cow! But, this is not a necessarily a cheaper option - because you have to feed the cow. But, it would certainly be the most healthy option!

Right now we are using not-at-all-lean meat, because we can afford it. And, I do not plan to switch to cheaper meat anytime soon. But, I could try to cook less chicken and more beef. And, I could try to cook more beans/lentils and less beef! I really do want to have more meat-free meals! And, our ultimate goal is to grow our own beef and chickens.

As for eggs, I was buying the "all natural" brown eggs at the store, when I could not buy them locally. Wal-Mart sells these eggs for $2.44/dozen. I like them, because the yolk is richer/darker and the shell is tougher. BUT, my new plan (already in motion) is that when I cannot buy farm fresh eggs I will buy the cheap ones at Wal-Mart. Right now, my FIL has chickens and is able to give us eggs for free - woo hoo! But, we cannot count on such generosity when we move away. So, again, our ultimate goal is to raise our own chickens. 

We eat brown rice several times a week. We like rice, it is a good filler! But, I am thinking about using white rice on occasion. Is that really so bad?


Even writing this, I feel a little bit guilty, because now you healthy eating gurus might think less of me. But, I need to save money! I am not trying to kill my family. I am not trying to cause cancer, obesity, or other physiological disorders. I am just trying to save money! You saw in another recent post that we have cut back on everything that I can think of (save the internet and my cell phone that will go as soon as the contract is completed. Paul has to have a cell phone for his driving with UPS).

But, as I said before, I am trying to be moderate! I do not want to obsess over healthy eating, because it is not the reason we live! We do not live for food! We live for God, to know Him and make Him known! And, if healthy eating consumes me more than the Gospel - I have a problem! 

Now, I ask for your practical help and opinions. How do you save money while eating healthy?

By Way of Analogy

I LOVE step aerobics! When we lived in IL (and in FL) I had a membership to a fitness club, because I really enjoy working out with other ladies! There is such momentum and drive doing step aerobics with a class-full of people stepping up and down at the same time. I love to tune out the music and listen just to the stepping.

These days, I cannot afford a gym membership. So, we bought me a work-out ball, my own step, a DVD, and small weights.The idea is that I will work out alone.

But, as much as LOVE doing step aerobics, I just cannot get motivated to do it alone! I know I need to. I even want to. But, without the class to enjoy it with... and hold me accountable... it just is not the same.

The Christian life is the same way. We might really LOVE the Lord! We might really LOVE listening to sermons, preparing lessons, reading the Word, and praying. But, without the accountability and fellowship of the body... sometimes we lose interest. We might find another way to use our time that is less profitable. Sure, we know we need the spiritual weight training (so to speak) but it is so hard to do it alone!

Believers, we need to stay connected to the Body of Christ! We need to stay in constant contact with other believers! We need to be sure that we are supplementing our daily spiritual work out and diet with regular meetings/fellowship with other Christians!

Because, as much as we truly love the Lord - it is hard to be disciplined without the help of the body.

Goals and Accomplishments

Those of you who have followed the blog for a long time, or know us in real life, know that Paul and I are working towards getting out of debt. Paul used to be a Pastor. One of the reasons he felt that he was no longer qualified for that role was because of our debt. (See Titus 1 and I Timothy 3: these texts do not speak specifically of debt, but of being "above reproach.") about a year and a half ago, we nearly filed for bankruptcy. We were drowning in debt.

That day that we were looking up phone numbers for bankruptcy lawyers, God stopped us. I cannot say that we heard His voice, but we both just KNEW that God did not want us to take that step. Among other things, we kept coming back to the idea that it would (in the eyes of some) make Paul permanently unfit for a pastoral role. (I do  realize there are differing views on this, and I am not looking for debate.)

We never did call a lawyer. We decided to stick it out. I talked to creditors on the phone daily... usually while they ranted, I cried. I begged God for relief from such a heavy burden of debt. We begged God for miracles.

Time and again, God has miraculously provided for our needs. Our income has not been enough, in the time we have lived in MO, to make ends meet... but we never go without true needs. Our propane tank has never gone completely empty (though it has gotten down to 0%). Our home has always stayed warm enough to be comfortable with many layers of clothing on. We have always had enough food. These are just a few examples of God's provisions.

But, in the past TWO MONTHS, God has been doing some amazing things for us. One local hospital cancelled Paul's debts to them (about $3000 for a CT Scan). Another hospital cancelled my debts and reimbursed what I had paid. We used that reimbursement to get caught up on our van loan and pay off a few small bills. (I cannot tell you how many times we have nearly lost our van!)

Then, with our tax return/credit we paid off all of our remaining credit cards except one! So, our debts are now realistic! We have college loans (who doesn't!?), a van loan, and two personal loans, but only one credit card, and one last small hospital bill! I cannot tell you how great it feels to be released from these debts! But, I can tell you that I do NOT regret choosing to pay them, rather than having them all written off by bankruptcy. (Please know that I am NOT judging anyone who has claimed. I am just saying that we could not claim.)

It has been a long journey. It has not been easy.
Here are some of the ways we cut back:
- canceled our life insurance last March (which I do not really recommend)
- canceled cell phones last March (though we recently picked these back up)
- no eating out, unless someone sent a birthday check, or family took us out
- very few new clothes/shoes
- using cloth diapers
- cancelled long distance service on our home phone (we kept the landline, because we have to have it for our internet service)
- choose the slowest speed of internet for many months (we recently moved it back up)
- no gym membership (for me, I LOVE to work out and go to aerobics classes)
- live in a house with snakes, mice, and more, just because the rent is cheap
- ran the heater at 60-63 degrees last year. This year with a new baby in the house we ran the heater at 67.
- I tried to use mostly free homeschooling resources off of the internet, and checked out books from the library to supplement. I sometimes use gift money to buy curriculum.
- Paul has to fix anything that breaks himself
- very small entertainment budget (we allow for 15/month for Netflix during the winter months)
- no dates, because we cannot hire babysitters
- very few visits to see my family in IL
- no dishwasher for a long time
- no piano until last week
- no fancy mixer for making bread (until last week), I had to make it by hand

We have lived in this house, in MO, since August 2008. It has been HARD! But, I am finally truly grateful for it! (Though, honestly, I do still struggle with contentment with the idea of staying here indefinitely)

And, we still owe far more on the van than it is worth... but, if we stay on track it will be paid off in less than 3 years. That seems like forever right now, but I must try to be more optimistic. After all, we do not know what God might do next!

Miraculous

This is nothing short of miraculous!

You all know how Paul and I are serious about getting out of debt? Well, God canceled out another bill! It was a hospital bill from a few years ago. I had been paying $70/month. A few months ago, I called the hospital and asked for them to send me an application for a charity discount. We got the answer in the mail today... paid in full! Not only that, they refunded the amount I had already paid! The check is nothing short of a miraculous answer to prayer! I cannot find enough words to say how desperately we needed that money just now! Only tears suffice to offer up thanksgiving to the Lord.

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:26-28 (NASB)

I love free stuff!

We got some free furniture today! Yippie! A lady in my homeschool association wanted to get rid of some things. So, we scored a nice, big dresser with mirror and a great kitchen table!!! I am so excited, because we really needed both of these items. Our two youngest children have their clothes in plastic Rubbermaid drawers. (We are withholding the mirror, until we think the children are responsible enough not to break it.)

And, as for the table... well, our old table was breaking. And the chairs... oh, the chairs were worse. We actually had a guest sit in a chair and fall to the floor! (Since then we had another chair break!)

So, I now have a nice, big, sturdy table with nice, sturdy chairs (the table has a leaf too)! And, I have another dresser to keep the kids clothes off the floor. Well, maybe the dresser won't help the kids put their clothes away... but we can always hope.

P.S. - If I feel well enough tomorrow, I will write my birth story.