Health Update - Good news!

I went back to the doctor last Friday to recheck all of the health issues that I was dealing with in the past 4-6 months. To summarize - at that time I was off-the-charts hypothyroid and there appeared to be something wrong with my brain's pituitary gland. We ruled out a tumor, but could not find the cause.

Back in November, I restarted taking Synthroid for my thyroid and my doctors advised a complete gluten elimination to help my brain. (I was not being very disciplined about gluten free diet until this past month.)

Well - I just got the results from Friday's blood work...

My thyroid is at the low end of NORMAL! 

And, my prolactin score is NORMAL! 

I am still very tired. I know I have issues to be worked through, and I am slugging away one day at a time. BUT, I see huge improvements!

- I felt good enough to be creative and finish my book (and start another book project) this past month
- My body temperature is up ONE WHOLE DEGREE!



Let's thank God for this progress and ask His mercy to continue to rain restoration and healing upon my body.

God in the Dessert - A look back at 2013

We all daydream of mountain top experiences in our lives. Few of us like the moments in the valley or the dessert. But, I have been meditating on life in the wilderness for quite a while now.

For our family, 2013 was a year spent wandering in the wilderness. God ALWAYS provided for the things that we truly needed. Sometimes we had to wait until the eleventh hour. Sometimes God would not give us what we wanted, because He knew that we did not NEED it. But, God never left us.

When the Israelites were wandering in the dessert God provided their daily bread one day at a time. I have come to believe that this may be the single greatest sign that a person is truly in a spiritual dessert… because they literally have to pray “give us this day our daily bread.” (Daily bread could be literal food, physical strength, emotional stability, etc.) We humans don’t do well with one-day-at-a-time philosophies. I want to know that my financial future is secure. We want retirement plans, life insurance, secure jobs, etc. And, there is nothing wrong with good planning! God gave us our brains to plan for our future.

But, some times we experience situations completely outside of our control. In our case it was Paul’s herniated discs from January to March. Then, a few months of work. Then, another type of hernia from May to July. Back to work for a few weeks in August. Then, WHAM!, someone ran into Paul’s UPS truck and Paul was fired for being in a wreck that wasn’t his fault. Back to work in October and running strong till the end of the year resulted in a total of 32 weeks working and 20 weeks without work and without pay.

Talk about a dessert.

I hated it. I kicked against it. I refused to learn from it. I continually prayed against it. I wanted it over. I don’t ever want to go back.

But, yet…

In the dessert is where our faith is truly tested and refined. God loves our family so much that He wants us to be closer to Him. And, as I read the Old Testament (in particular) I see God saying to the Israelites that they will draw near to Him in the wilderness. They will cling to Him in the dessert. They will run to Him when under attack from the enemy. But, when they have plenty of food and money… then, they seem to allow distance to come between them and their Creator. (See Deut. 6)

We all do it.

I was crying the other day. Paul was with me while I was emoting… and he had some wise responses. He said, “What’s so great about the mountain? We learn in the dessert. We don’t learn on the mountain. On the mountain we say ‘Lord, should I build you three tents?’” (See Luke 9, especially verse 33) I see his point. Paul is right.

God loves to give us blessings. But, His blessings are not always in the form of more money and better health. There are times that He sees that we will grow from a period of sifting. Satan asks the Lord for permission to sift His people. He asked for permission to bring trouble to Job. These troubles are allowed by the Lord because blessings come in many forms.

Our family prays nightly that we will be the family God has meant us to be. It is quite possible that we need to go through some rough times to refine us and purify us. I cry out daily, “I want what You want for me life.” If you are going to pray that prayer…well, you need to be prepared for God to answer. And, it may not look like what you expect. Maybe God does want to give you riches and health. But, maybe He wants you to taste a bit of pain to be better acquainted with the sufferings of Jesus Christ. (see Phil 3:7-10)

Some of my dearest friends would view this line of thinking as heresy. But, Jesus tells us that in this world we will have troubles. He does not promise that we will be free from trouble! (see John 16:25-33) He promises that He will be with us when the trouble comes.

So, I write this on the edge of the dessert gazing towards the fertile crescent. It’s so close that I can smell the water and green grass. I acknowledge that I would rather be in the refreshing green pastures than in this arid climate, but I want to recollect (in case I lose sight of the Lord when we enter a time of abundance and plenty) that the time in the dessert was/is well-spent.

I don’t ask the Lord to take me back to the wilderness. But, if He sees that it is necessary for our family to spend more time there – I will try to praise Him in the midst of that situation, because God is still God. He is the One who gives us the daily manna in the dessert. He will never leave us or forsake us. And, I trust that the Lord will do what is necessary to fulfill His purposes for my life. (Psalm 57:2)

NOTE: I wrote this thinking that our time in the dessert was nearing an end. Paul was working full time at UPS (finally) and all would be well. So I thought. But, my fibromyalgia reached an all time low. In Feb-April of 2014, I could not take care of my own basic needs. Paul left his job at UPS to care for me and teach the children. At the time, it seemed like the only solution. The months that followed were far worse than the agonies we had experienced in 2013. So, perhaps, we needed more time in the wilderness to draw near to God. By American standards, we have not yet had a time of "abundance and plenty," but our table has food on it and we have vehicles that work. I am grateful!  

BIG news- Paul's job

Note: Re-published in Sept 2015. I took this post down for a while, because it hurt so much to look at it. But, God's Way is best. Paul has not been at UPS since Feb 2014. 


I have some more BIG news for y'all!

PAUL HAS BEEN HIRED AS A FULL TIME DRIVER AT UPS!!!

After all the waiting... all the years... all the drama...

Paul has been feeling well and we hope that he will be able to continue for a long time. But, if something better were to come up, Paul would happily leave UPS for equal wages and benefits (not likely that any such job will present itself, but you never know.)

I imagine that quite a few small and big life changes will follow this BIG change. Time will tell... but, I will give you a clue, I am pretty certain our housing situation will change first. More on that another day.

As for my book - I am editing it again, because it seems that every third sentence (at least) ends in a preposition. Since the dialogue sounds like real-life talking, I don't think I will change it very much. But, I can surely stretch my brain enough to re-arrange some sentences in the narrative.

I am reading the book to the children - they LOVE it! They laugh at the right places... so, that's a good sign. They are too young to cry at the heart-wrenching stuff, but they look at me (as if on cue) to get a look at my face. And, yes, my own book does make me cry. It gives me goosebumps too. I like to read it... which is good... because every stinkin' time I re-read it I find more grammatical or thematic errors. I am still praying about when/where/how to publish. There are a lot of options, but not much money to work with.

That's all for now. I'll try to update you again soon. I go back to the doctor this Friday. Maybe we will get some more clarity on the ups and downs of my health. Oh - by the way - I am off gluten again. Maybe this time it will stick. Adios!

Long awaited book update

I am so happy that I could burst!

I finished reworking my fiction novel (the first of a series) and I wrote the epilogue tonight! I know this does not mean the book is "done." But, I am certainly going in the right direction!

Please pray that the Lord would lead me in my decisions about an editor and how to publish. There are far more options to consider than you can imagine... and I feel a bit overwhelmed. The book is an easy read, but not as easy as most modern Christian fiction. The book has a mix of humor as well as serious discussions about dealing with tragedy and trauma. I am pleased with how it has turned out and I do not want to cut out the parts of theological discussion that make the book what it is. Nor do I want some inane cover than would completely misrepresent the nature of the work!

Thank you for your prayers on this venture! I had not written anything in the book since the end of May 2013 for one reason or another... time restraints and then health issues. But, yesterday I felt the Lord leading me to start reworking/editing what I had already written. And, to my great surprise it went much quicker than I would have thought. I like the place where I decided to end the book last May, and just needed to add an epilogue to tie up strings and set up for the next book in the series. And, the first part of the next book was written back in May as well... so, I am quite happy!

I will keep you posted as I can about the progress of my book.

To God be the Glory!

New Year's Eve

Happy New Year, Friends! 

December 2013 

This is my family with my parents just a few days after Christmas. This was our first ever attempt at a picture like this. I think it turned out well. I think I have a good "eye" for poses (or whatever the proper name would be. Although I wish I had a flash from above for the glasses glare as well as the darkness at the top of the photo.) If only my family picture had worked out as well... but, no, we had one child crying in EVERY shot and another kid looking angry in every picture. It's too bad too, because I had such a cute pose. What's that? You want to see it anyway? OK. Here's the real deal -

Well... it's real anyway... Maybe not our best face forward, but we are still a good looking family, if I do say so myself. (winks)

Y'all have a great year!

Mopping - An Analogy

Rebecca mopped the floor for me a few days ago. It needed it. Six kids age 11 and under. 'Nuff said.

When Rebecca started mopping I had my usual thoughts. "How did the floor get this bad in just a week?" "Why didn't I mop sooner?" And the like.

The job was finished. It looked great...except for a few sticky gum-like spots that I actually got down on my hands and knees to scrape with a razor blade. "Strange that these spots didn't bother me before."

Then it hit me.

Mopping is like repentance. After we thank God for cleansing our heart through the blood of Jesus Christ the slate is clean. For a few minutes. Then, someone comes along and spills the milk. Or, you step on one blood red pomegranate seed. Those first few spots seem such a stark contrast compared to the fresh mop job. And, our first sins after confessing seem so offensive.

But, if I take a nap and Rebecca bakes brownies...and the little ones help. Well, there will be flour, sugar, chocolate chips (no, on second thought, the baby eats those off the floor), and egg yoke plastered to the floor. Most of this gets wiped up, but some will remain for a few days until the next mopping. Little by little, one day at a time, it seems like the messes blur together on the floor...and you start training yourself not to see them. "It isn't mop day yet." Or, "I'm too tired."

Likewise, our hearts become hardened to our own sin so quickly. We get lazy with our holiness. A little spill of poor speech here... a little dab of poor conduct there... a big pile of nasty thoughts marring the center of my heart.

In the case of my kitchen, it was not until I knew the landlord was stopping by that I saw the mess through someone else's eyes. The floor was appalling. I had gotten used to the mess. But, what would the landlord think?

In the case of my sinful heart, it is by reading the Word of God and seeing ourselves through God's eyes that we see the mess and the caked on sins that we have allowed to pile up and crust over our hearts of flesh. The solution is simple.

The cleaner I keep the kitchen floor, the cleaner I want to keep the floor.

The more I read the Word, the more I want to read the Word. But, a few sins spilt on that clean heart begins a hardening process that starts to quench my desire to meet with the Lord. We've all been there.

This little analogy is not meant to be a thorough treatise on sin and repentance. Far from it. Just an illustration of what the Lord showed me in the clean kitchen floor.

We need to keep our hearts clean before the Lord.

Hebrews 10:22 Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.

update 12-7-2013

Update-

We are surviving the winter okay. Paul is working all the hours that the Dept of Transportation will allow. And, I am pressing on in my career as full time wife and mother/homeschooler.

I've been too busy to do any creative writing.

One of these days I will emerge from the dark, cold winter and write a real post.

{Bethany}