After 13 years of Marriage

Paul and I had our 13^th anniversary yesterday.

And, we finally had a communication breakthrough... last week.

Paul assures me that this must be a Missouri thing, because I grew up in Illinois.

For the last 13 years I have been asking questions like, “How does this look?” Or, “what do you think of this meal?” And, Paul would frequently answer, “It’s not half bad” or “not too bad.” Sometimes he says, “It’s decent.”

Well, after 13 years something in me snapped. And a few weeks ago I cried when he said my new recipe was “not too bad.” He did not know what he did wrong. And, I thought, something very charitable, like, “How could he be so mean and dumb?” Well, he explained that his family talks like that when they actually LIKE something! And, then he said, “You mean we’ve been together 13 years and you didn’t know what I meant by that all this time?!” And, I said, “NO! Every time I asked if I looked good, or my clothes looked okay, or my hair, I would think you were saying, ‘It is adequate… or, it will do.’

I can laugh about it now… kinda.

Today at lunch (13 years and one day married), I asked Paul, “Would you like some coffee?” He said, “I might.” Then it hit me… With voice a little elevated, I said, “You mean you might? Or is that a funny way of saying ‘yes, I do.’” To which he answered, “I would like some coffee please.” And, much to my great pleasure, he added, “I really need to work on my communication skills.”

So, there you have it… only 13 years of thinking Paul never liked my meals, hair, clothes, etc.

I am sure I will laugh about this later… maybe 13 years from now.

Sure I Have a Favorite! (Humor)

You know how psychology textbooks talk about birth order and parents having a favorite child and all that? Well, I can’t say that I care one bit about what the textbooks say… but I do have a favorite.

Yep, today my favorite is Nelson, because last night when I was singing him to sleep he told me that I sing better than most of the people on the radio, and asked if I could become famous. When I put him off modestly he insisted, “No, mom, really, you could be famous.” So, today Nelson is my favorite child.

Then there was that time last week when Rebecca asked me, “Mom, which were you born in, the 80s or 90s?” That day Rebecca was my favorite.

One day a few weeks ago Lydia kept kissing me all day. That day she was my favorite.

Another day, Nelson decided that he would “work circles around Rebecca.” He worked SO hard all that day. Often he did chores without being asked, and it seemed he was reading my mind. That day Nelson was my favorite.

Then, there is Joshua. (Get out your Kleenex girls…) We just recently learned from the eye doctor that he is so far-sighted that he can see nothing up close. We had to “max him out” on the highest glasses prescription that he could handle. (In six months, he will be raised even more and be “maxed out” again.) I teased him on the way home saying, “Joshua, that means you don’t know that mommy has freckles. Will you still love me when you see that I have freckles?” He said, “Mommy, you don’t have freckles.”

We picked up his glasses a few days later. In the office I reminded him that I have freckles. He looked at me earnestly through his new glasses for at least 20 seconds. But, more adjustments needed to be done and his attention was taken away.

At home that night he walked up to me and said, “Mommy, I want to look at you.” He stared into my face for a full minute. I don’t think he said anything. But, it was just so precious to know that he could see me for the first time!

That day Joshua was my favorite.

Back when I was fully dependent on caffeine, Becca would bring me Mt. Dew or coffee in bed before I was able to crawl out in the morning. On those days she was my favorite.

Last week I was “sick” with a terrible tooth abscess (It was all the way into the jaw bone, so swollen that I could not remove the tooth for a few days). Long story short, I actually had to take antibiotics… and Tylenol Three. Wow, I was zonked for days. I forced myself to go to church Sunday (mostly to keep my mind off of the pain). When we came home I was a mess. Nelson took off my shoes and socks and tucked me into bed. That day he was my favorite.

Sometimes Baby Jeremiah is extra snuggly. On those days he is my favorite.

Josiah often climbs into bed with me in the morning and “pets” me. He will pet my face and my arms while he breathes his warm stinky toddler morning breath in my face. On those days he is my favorite.

These are just a few examples. As you can see… I clearly have favorites.

At the library 11-28

I escaped for a few moments of freedom at the library. I was hoping for a computer with little hole-thingy for our memory card to slide into. (Hey, I know the use, even if I don't know terminology). But, alas, no-can-do. I will have to locate my USB cable for the camera and download any newer pics onto my flash drive... one of these days.

We are all well.

Biggest event in my life - we are now using wood heat. This is my first time ever with wood heat, and we started Saturday night. I could write volumes. Instead, I will just tell you that I think that by the time our lease is out I ought to know how to use a fireplace insert.

I peeked in at a few of your blogs, but did not take time to comment. I am counting my precious minutes here - literally....

The house is working out very well for us. We are SO, SO, SO glad to be out of the parsonage! Some of us are much healthier and happier!!! And, we really like our new home. It suits us. If only I had internet...

Paul is working crazy hours with UPS peak season. He started going in at 2 this week. Bah humbug. And, he will be picking up another seasonal UPS job. And he is still with U-Haul. He's a busy (tired) boy.

Bye for now. Hope to check back again soon. You can leave comments, but I may not be able to read them for a long time.

very quick update

we are all moved into the new house. no internet connection there. no time at present to get to library to post. sorry for the brevity of this post... just wanted to let you know we are happy, healthy, and safe. email is NOT a good way to stay in touch. If you need me, Call me instead.

Moving

Our family has found a rental home at a reasonable price and we will be moving Friday. My parents are coming in to help watch the children. We hope to have help from some friends as well... but only one confirmed "yes" so far.

Please pray for helpers, safety, wisdom, efficiency of time, finances, etc.

One big praise - since Paul is working at U-Haul they are going to let him borrow one of the big trucks without charge! Thank you, Lord!

I cannot get these pictures in the order I like... oh well. Click any picture to enlarge it.

Fireplace in Living Room, Dining Room beyond that

Larger than it looks

This area was designed and built as a dance hall to hold 3 circles/rings of square dancers.

Fall Photos by Rebecca

Photos posted by Rebecca
Click on any photo to enlarge it

Neither here nor there

The most exciting event in my life right now is working towards potty training the 2 year old. (He will be three at the end of December). He is at that point where he can choose to withhold his "deposits" as long as I have him in underpants... and as soon as I diaper him or put him to bed he will make his deposit. So, if I force myself to look at this from the glass-half-full perspective then I can rejoice that he is making progress! Or, if you catch me just after I had to pull off soiled underwear (and stick my finger in poo) then I might just tell you to go out and buy me ten years worth of diapers - because I don't have it in me to potty train another kid. Tell me that I am not the only one who has contemplated how old a child would be before he could actually train his own self to potty. (I am joking, of course, please don't call child services)

Meanwhile the Baby has started cruising along the furniture. We have wood laminate floors so he has taken some tough falls. But, on the bright side, he figured out how to fall onto his bottom (rather than his head) at an amazing rate.

I am sticking to my school year goals fairly well. The kids are doing more work than they have in years. God has been good. Still... there are some rough spots. I have at least one child who tries to drop out of school at least once a week. That one child is quite the arbitrator. He can come up with more reasons to quite school for the day than I can rebut. When all else fails, "Because I said so..." sometimes works. If not, the threat of "what will Daddy think of that?" can usually curb my little man.

We are still praying about housing. No new leads. God is disciplining us in the area of patience and contentment. So, I need to hurry up and learn to be patient so that this lesson will be over. Right?

But godliness with contentment is great gain,  for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 

1 Timothy 6:6-8 ESV